Things to look forward to during a second Obama administration

Joe Biden will keep talking (hey, not like comedians can write that kind of material themselves)

Malia’s first date: I think we may finally see Obama lose his famous cool. I just pity the poor boy who comes a calling.

Boehner goes from orange to purple, oompa loompa to blueberry girl. Gene Wilder eat your heart out.

Paul “Eddie Munster” Ryan goes back to haunting the nightmares of small children and Medicare recipients.

Mittens “I wanna be president and if I don’t get to be president I will hold my breath until I die” Romney, does. In lieu of flowers, send donations to Miss Ann’s School for Horsie Ballet

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